Try.

Life is difficult, right?
I mean not one single person goes through life without difficulty.
We all face problems in life, in which we must make a decision.
Whether we overcome the 'obstacle' or give up.
This decision is absolute. In every single thing.

The only real difference remains to be the size of the 'obstacle'.
Some of us will have large obstacles to overcome.
Others will have minor obstacles that challenge them.
No matter the size we still must make a decision.
A decision that could impact the lives of several others or even ourselves.
These decision can have lasting impacts.
they can ruin friendships,
tear down marriages,
destroy families,
end lives,
but also create friendships,
start up marriages,
make families,
and bring life into the world.


How incredible is it that we are given the chance to do what we want with our lives?
I mean seriously.
So many people will look so far beyond that and they dont even see all of the good we have in our lives!
We get to live,
free.
and do with our lives what we will
sure there are rules that our government expects us to follow.
but really that hardly matters when god just gave us this world,
and then we are given the chance to make of it what we will.
How Incredible is that?!
I mean god,
thank you.
haha.

What else can i say?
He gave us this Beautiful world.
With endless beauty,
endless art, endless amazement.
A gift.
To do with what we choose.
And what did he ask of us in return?
Nothing.
Half of his people have turned away from him too.
They've taken a different path,
but he still loves them.
this is the kind of philosophy i try to go with,
love everyone.
no matter who they are.
Even if those people are different from me.
Love them.
But what does this take?
Effort.
Lots of effort.
Most people generally dont want to put in that kind of effort.
Which stems into things like racism, stereotypes, ect.
I mean think of how the world would be different if these things didnt exist.
My main thought goes to music.
How many more African American musicians would have the ability to play the music like jazz back then when they were discriminated against so badly.
But at the same time the all of it has shaped them and made them who they were and how they played.
So times the bad things still can have good results.
but too get the good results it takes,
effort.
Everything comes back to it.
I mean itd be easy to sit there and say i cant do this because of this, this, and this.
But the truly great people rise above all that.
They put in effort when no one else does.
And that is what really makes them great.
They Try,
Try.


Thats what it all comes down to isnt it?
There are those of us that Try,
and those of us who dont.
That pretty much separates who succeeds in life.
Minus the few of us that are given things so easily.
They get it easy.
but dont come out of it with the experiences.
So really the ones who tried and came out with almost the same results got it better.
Its just the way life works out.
Those who really try have good things happen to them.
Its what does and should happen.
Thus i encourage everyone to Try.
If you have a goal that want to meet,
Try, put in the effort and meet it.
If something just isnt working out the way it should,
Try, put in the effort and fix it.

Try, Try, Try.
Thats what it all comes down.

So I'm gonna try (try)
I'm gonna try (try)
Gonna try to be myself
Although myself will wonder why
I'm gonna try (try)
I'm gonna try (try)
Gonna try to be myself this time.
-Try, John Mayer Trio.

I belong.. sort of.

Theres times lately in my life where I question my own existence.
Like what am i here for, where do i belong.
why on earth did God put me in this place.
Part of me has concluded that i wasnt put here to be a very socialable person.
that part of me feels that i dont "belong" with like society almost.
that part of me feels that i belong on a stage with nothing more than a guitar, and a mic.
Standing there confessing all of my feelings, insecurities, desires, and wants.
Revealing to everyone in front of me the deepest corners of my mind and soul.
Sharing with them my stories of who i am, who i was, who im going to be, and who ive become.
Maybe Someday this will come true and all of this will happen.
and ill be up there and every single person will know the words to the song.
they'll all sing along.
And ill watch in amazement as all of this takes place.
People singing along to words i wrote.. words that have deep meaning to me.
Such a beautiful dream.
I do hope that God wills this to come true.


Everyone feels the need to belong in this world.
Whether its with one person, with a group of friends, or even with some sort of club.
We all feel the need to exist with something else.
But why is it so necessary that we must live our lives with others?
can we not be mere loners and live independently?
I believe that we cannot.
I believe that we are meant to live our lives through others and in all things worship God.
It is good to be somewhat independent. But not entirely.
We need others.
We need help.
We need them to help us.
Through problems.
Through pain.
Through life.

Where would we be without others?
I mean honestly. How long can people last on their own.
If everyone lived life independently than the human race wouldn't exist today.
We would all live our lives alone.. and eventually die with nothing.
No family.
No loved ones.
No kids.
Nothing.
And everyone around us would follow suit..
and eventually we would all be gone.
Every single person.
Gone.

So think about what you're doing when you try to do everything yourself.
And maybe realize that you cant do it alone.
'Sometimes I cant make it alone'
so true.
Sometimes we can't make it alone.
We NEED others.
So much.
For everything that they do for us.
Keep them close.
Dont let them leave.
Let everyone co-depend on each other.
and live your life with Love.
Love for one another.
Love for self.
Love for God.

Feels Like Rain

Lately Ive begun to enjoy sitting in the shower.
Just sitting down and letting the water rain down on me.
Because thats what showers are like arent they?
Like a rainstorm that pours all over you.
It covers your entire body and washes away the smells and stains from the previous day.
but more than that..
showering is renewal.
Its out with the person of yesterday and in with the person of today.
You get in, start up the water, and wash away the past and prepare yourself for the future.

Its such a refreshing thing to just let water fall down on you and not care about anything at all and just be at total peace with the world.
This probably the least manly thing i can admit but honestly when im there.. just sitting and letting water rain down on me and sometimes i honestly just cry.
its such a perfect moment.
There are No worries.
No pain.
No remorse.
No sorrow.
Just a man at peace with the world as God's almighty Grace falls upon him in the form of water.
How can get any better than that.
The whole situation gets even more perfect when im running some Buckley song through my speakers.. preferably Hallelujah.
Not to loud though. Just keep him down so hes a silent whisper in the rain.


In my mind there is no more of a perfect situation than of the one i just described.
How can u get any better than that?
You're in a place where nothing else matters.
Its just you and the rain.
The constant rain we all have in our lives.
No matter what you do or where you go.
There will always be rain.
Beautiful and Comforting Rain.
That i encourage you to take time to just sit in the rain..
and just be at peace with everything and everyone.

Love is Always Worth it.

Why do we love?
What is it about this feeling that we throw away everything we know and thrust ourselves forward not knowing where we'll end up.
We take such huge risks with this thing love.
Some would question "is worth it?"
Is risking our own feelings and emotions worth all the hurt and pain?
Honestly ask yourself "is worth it"?


So whats your answer then is love worth the Hurt and all the Pain?
Is it worth the Denial and the Betrayal?
The Anger and Confusion..
The Depression and all the Tears..

Can anything be worth all of that?
Why would anyone gamble with those odds?
On one side you have the chance to feel like the greatest thing in the world..
but on the other hand theres always the chance of denial.

Think of our Love life as a Slot machine.
and perhaps our emotions as money.

We invest money into the slot machine hoping something good will turn out for us.
A lot of times we dont win. We lose to this heartless machine over and over again.
Until some of us hit the Jackpot and win.
We win love.
The greatest feeling in the world.
To Love and to be loved.
Because isnt that what we all want out of life.
I mean money and materials are ok.
but when all is said and done..
whos gonna watch you die?
your money or the ones you loved.

Lately Ive been a pretty heavy gambler.
Putting all of my money on the line.
And guess what!?
I lost.

Its probably the worse feeling in the world to lose at this game.
This game isnt some sport game.. its serious business with drastic turnouts.
Turnouts with this feeling i have now. its like a cramp right in the pit of your stomach.
It aches and aches.
It never stops aching.
It bleeds into all of the other areas of your life until you cant even seem to focus for more than five minutes at a time.



All of this over a simple word called Love.
The purpose of this note is not to depress people and make them hate love.
And never want to Love in their life.
But its purpose is to give my insight on this "Simple" word Love.
To say how worth it is to take that gamble and put a few coins or so in the machine.
In my opinion people should take huge risks for Love.
Whether the turnout is amazing or disastrous Love is always worth it.
I kinda like that last phrase.."Love is Always Worth it."
To me it says somethin kind of like this...
No matter the risk "Love is Always Worth it."
No matter the turnout "Love is Always Worth it."
No matter if you get a Jackpot or Nothing "Love is Always Worth it."

Yeah That sounds good to me..
now just remember..

"Love is Always Worth it."

Buses and Kids.

Another day of school has passed on and i slowly walk towards the shuttle bus.. I stick the buds of my headphones and get lost in the world of a couple men creating beautiful music together. Starts out with a drummer laying down a beat and then the bass joins and puts it in time. Then Guitarist interrupts it all with a glorious melody that bring it all together. And finally to top it off the Singer comes in and soars over the entire band. The tension increases more and more as the band crescendos slowly but surely. I climb up the stairs of the bus and take an open seat in the back by myself and stare out the window as bus takes off.

The Band plays on and im only the one that hears their beautiful music.. Its as if the Singer sings just for me and the other Band member are playing for me and only me.
Well dont i feel special.
The Gradual Crescendo increases more and more as the bus pulls me around town and toward its final destination. Theres honestly something fascinating about listening to music and staring out a window of a bus.. Especially when the sun shines down on you and reflects off the snow on the ground and creates this eerie feeling of calmness and awe..The kind of moment where you wouldnt mind just sitting and staring.. not doing anything just observing the beauty of your sorroundings.

The bus finally reaches its destination and stalls until the other buses come and release their kids to go to their respective buses to go home. I sit and wait for the bus driver to open the doors and set me free. All of the kids i call my friends sit in front me and talk to one another, everyone having their own side conversation. Yet i still alone in the back, by myself. Why is this I wonder to myself.. am i so different.. do i not belong.. why.. Ive always thought i was somehow different since i was a young child..like as if god had designed me to not fit in right.. to be an outsider.. a nonconformist..

A Nonconformist. Thats honesty what i strive for in life sometimes. To not be the adverage person. To not conform to your 'adverage person'. Because honestly where do u meet a man who plays guitar but doesnt play any of that rock stuff anymore, but plays the blues and jazz. Or a man who plays hockey and is not arrogant in any way at all, but is as humble as a man could possibly be.. does that seem adverage to you, cuz it doesnt really to me.

All these thoughts cross my mind in about the minute or two that the buses take to all file in and then the doors fly open and thousand of children run out and towards their new buses to secure a good seat or to chat with another person before they board their bus. We slowly file out of the bus one by one in a single line.. My music keeps playing and reaches a sort of climax point, Where Singer repeats a single brilliant phrase over and over that blends oh so beautifully with the rest of the band, who at the moment are playing with all passion and soul and power that is possible. The Singer is even backed up by the band each member taking a pitch and forming a beautiful chord for the backgrounds and to support the Lead Singer as he Soars above everything and the band hits one last chord as i step out of the bus and into the world where the sun shines so bright and the sky is limitless and filled with few clouds and there seems to be a soft breeze, not enough to make you cold but just enough to blow your hair back.
And the world is beautiful.
It is a creation of god.
How amazing is he to create all of this.
And ive only thought in my mind.

What a wonderful world.

Stop and Stare

This may or may not have anything to do with the song that i stole the words from. But mainly it has nothing to do with it at all.. just thought itd sound good. That and I just found those words compelling. Its as simple as that. Stop and Stare. Slow it all down.. take time with things.. admire the beautiful the gracious Lord has put in our wondrous world. Lately I've been doing more walking rather than driving around.. It has made a tremendous difference in my life.. Just simply taking the time to walk to wherever i may be going. I know it takes more time, but think of all the good you are doing. For one you're the gas that would be required to move the car which in turn helps the environment. Two it may just be me but i get a feeling of calm as i walk.. The feeling that everything seems right in the world as you slowly walk towards your destination and take in the beauty and sounds of everything that was put on this Earth by our gracious God.

Forgive me for straying from the topic but i feel the necessity for some form of disclaimer here.. because im not a man to throw religion on anybody.. I dont believe that its my place to force my beliefs on anyone else. Sure im supposed to spread the word, but i try to live my life as an example of my beliefs in hopes that others will see it and perhaps ask about it.. and if not then i'll let them hold to their own beliefs and values. So if i talk of my religion dont feel if im saying that im right and ur wrong.. its not my intention at all just that my religion plays a major role in everything i do.. So just for a discalmer dont feel that im some sort of one-viewed im right ur wrong kind of person.. but merely a man with his own beliefs who isnt judgemental of others.

Anyways back to the main topic.."Stop and Stare". is the title of this.. and it simply means to stop and stare. Stop rushing ur life so much.. Stop all the chaos of ur everyday life..Stop all the constant worrying..Stop all of these things and just stare. Stare at the beautiful things in this world.. Take it all in while you can.. Appreciate the ones you love..Tell them how u feel..Dont leave these kind of things to chance..Because tomorrow is never certain.. So love like u never loved before.

Cuz thats the answer to everything isnt it?
Love.
So simple yet so amazingly complex.
A million different people think they know what it is
and yet its different for everyone.
how do u put a definition to that?
I honestly think Love shouldnt be in the dictionary
because no definition anyone could come up with
can ever truly grasp what Love is.

Love is Amazing.
Beautiful.
Indescriable.
Astounding.

A billion words could describe it
yet would not capture its true essence.

I personally have my own ideas as to what it is..
they may be correct for me
but not for you..

Only one thing is certain..

Love Wins.

Humblness is my choice.

Humbleness and pride are difficult subjects to talk about with most people. A lot of people I know are so over confident with themselves that it gets in their way of becoming better at what they do. For instance I play on hockey team filled with players who have out of control egos. Their egos make them do stupid things for the stupidest reasons. That end up costing the whole team. I really dont get what they think sometimes.. they get hit or something and they instantly retaliate and then they get a penalty.. and i think what was the point of that, you just cost the entire team a penalty and for what so u could hit the guy back out of spite? Well good for you then, you sure accomplished a lot.

Im no perfect person or anything but i try to live my life as humbly as i can. I figure the best way i can better myself as a person is too really take no credit for the things that i am decent at. Like honestly i think im terrible at everything i do.. I am a terrible writer.. A terrible musician.. A terrible athlete.. And a terrible human being. This is the mentalitly i have built up for myself. Some of you may not agree with this.. but its the best way i know how to live. Part of my reasoning for this has to do with the fact that i look up to some of the best heroes a person can have.

For music I have guys like Stephan Christian, Eddie Vedder, John Mayer, and Wynton Marsalis. All of these are remarkable and what they do. The only one of the four i have met is Wynton and he couldnt be more humble than he is. For as good as he is you would think he'd be arrogant and have a huge ego, but instead you get one of if not the best trumpet player in the world who is more humble than me..

For Writing I have guys like Stephan Christian, Rob Bell, and C.S Lewis. I havent met any of these people but from what i know of Stephan in his writing is that he almost has the same mentality as me. That of that he tries to be very humble even though i think of his writing and music as astounding and that it is so good..

For Sports I have the likes of Steve Yzerman, Nick Lidstrom, and Pavel Datsyuk. These men are three of the best men who played hockey and yet they all share the same humblness. They are a constant reminder of how i should carry myself on and off the ice.

All of these men affect how i act or carry myself. They influence me in a lot of different ways. Even though i hardly know any of them i respect them so much for the things they have accomplished in life and yet still stayed humble. I do have other hereos in my life that are closer to me, but these are the guys i view in a professional manner.. as inspiration to continue the things that i do.

I'm not asking you to change how your life to my way. Im not about that.. just thought id share the way i feel about egos and arrogance.. because i see so much that egos destroy people and keep them from realizing their true potential. And i dont like to see people destroy the careers over something stupid like their own ego. Cuz in the end whats better you accomplishing goals in life or failing in life because you retaliated at someone cuz you couldnt get past your own ego.

Thats a choice for you.. not me.
Ive already made mine.
Now its ur turn.

Change is a beautiful thing

I've been really lazy lately about writing on this. When i know i shouldnt be. This blog site i use to write is the best thing i can use to grow as a person. Which we all have to do one way or another. For some of us it is very minimal while for others the changes we make are very significant. Change is necessary in life.. we all have a conscience no matter how cruel some of us can be. Most of the time with today's society we change for others. We change to prove a point to others. So they'll like us, so they will accept us, so they will love us and give us the gratification of being loved.

All of these reasons are wrong reasons.. not that im judging how people live their lives but in my mind we should change for ourselves. To be a better person, to inspire others.. not to be accepted by society. I mean who cares if u dont fit in with everyone. You cant please every single person in your life. Whether you like it or not you will disappoint someone at some point in your life. So theres no point in trying to please everybody. You really find out who your true friends are when you disappoint them and they forgive you. While most others would just leave you behind. One of my favorite lyrics written ever really applies to this idea. Never Take Friendship Personal- Anberlin. I find this so true in today's society.

Everyone takes things to personal. The common thought is that everyone hates them/is against them. When most of the world knows little and cares little of your existance. The fact of the matter is that we dont know how good we have it in life. We take to many things for granted. The most minuscual problems we have become huge issues in our lives. We all have something to complain about. but how does that help at all? Complaining about your tiny, and insignificant problems gets you nowhere in life. I really dont get people sometimes.. how is complaining about something gonna help? its not going to change anything about it. I mean its not like if i complain about it all of my problems will be solved.

They wont be. Change yourself for 'you'. Not for anyone else. Not so you are accepted by society or so that one girl will like you back. Change yourself to become a better person. Everything else will work its way out on its own eventually.
Give it time
Trust in God or whatever you believe in.
Dont settle for what you think is good enough.. work hard and good things will come your way.
I guess this concept is called karma.
Do good things and good things will follow you..
Well i believe its true.