Feels Like Rain

Lately Ive begun to enjoy sitting in the shower.
Just sitting down and letting the water rain down on me.
Because thats what showers are like arent they?
Like a rainstorm that pours all over you.
It covers your entire body and washes away the smells and stains from the previous day.
but more than that..
showering is renewal.
Its out with the person of yesterday and in with the person of today.
You get in, start up the water, and wash away the past and prepare yourself for the future.

Its such a refreshing thing to just let water fall down on you and not care about anything at all and just be at total peace with the world.
This probably the least manly thing i can admit but honestly when im there.. just sitting and letting water rain down on me and sometimes i honestly just cry.
its such a perfect moment.
There are No worries.
No pain.
No remorse.
No sorrow.
Just a man at peace with the world as God's almighty Grace falls upon him in the form of water.
How can get any better than that.
The whole situation gets even more perfect when im running some Buckley song through my speakers.. preferably Hallelujah.
Not to loud though. Just keep him down so hes a silent whisper in the rain.


In my mind there is no more of a perfect situation than of the one i just described.
How can u get any better than that?
You're in a place where nothing else matters.
Its just you and the rain.
The constant rain we all have in our lives.
No matter what you do or where you go.
There will always be rain.
Beautiful and Comforting Rain.
That i encourage you to take time to just sit in the rain..
and just be at peace with everything and everyone.

Love is Always Worth it.

Why do we love?
What is it about this feeling that we throw away everything we know and thrust ourselves forward not knowing where we'll end up.
We take such huge risks with this thing love.
Some would question "is worth it?"
Is risking our own feelings and emotions worth all the hurt and pain?
Honestly ask yourself "is worth it"?


So whats your answer then is love worth the Hurt and all the Pain?
Is it worth the Denial and the Betrayal?
The Anger and Confusion..
The Depression and all the Tears..

Can anything be worth all of that?
Why would anyone gamble with those odds?
On one side you have the chance to feel like the greatest thing in the world..
but on the other hand theres always the chance of denial.

Think of our Love life as a Slot machine.
and perhaps our emotions as money.

We invest money into the slot machine hoping something good will turn out for us.
A lot of times we dont win. We lose to this heartless machine over and over again.
Until some of us hit the Jackpot and win.
We win love.
The greatest feeling in the world.
To Love and to be loved.
Because isnt that what we all want out of life.
I mean money and materials are ok.
but when all is said and done..
whos gonna watch you die?
your money or the ones you loved.

Lately Ive been a pretty heavy gambler.
Putting all of my money on the line.
And guess what!?
I lost.

Its probably the worse feeling in the world to lose at this game.
This game isnt some sport game.. its serious business with drastic turnouts.
Turnouts with this feeling i have now. its like a cramp right in the pit of your stomach.
It aches and aches.
It never stops aching.
It bleeds into all of the other areas of your life until you cant even seem to focus for more than five minutes at a time.



All of this over a simple word called Love.
The purpose of this note is not to depress people and make them hate love.
And never want to Love in their life.
But its purpose is to give my insight on this "Simple" word Love.
To say how worth it is to take that gamble and put a few coins or so in the machine.
In my opinion people should take huge risks for Love.
Whether the turnout is amazing or disastrous Love is always worth it.
I kinda like that last phrase.."Love is Always Worth it."
To me it says somethin kind of like this...
No matter the risk "Love is Always Worth it."
No matter the turnout "Love is Always Worth it."
No matter if you get a Jackpot or Nothing "Love is Always Worth it."

Yeah That sounds good to me..
now just remember..

"Love is Always Worth it."

Buses and Kids.

Another day of school has passed on and i slowly walk towards the shuttle bus.. I stick the buds of my headphones and get lost in the world of a couple men creating beautiful music together. Starts out with a drummer laying down a beat and then the bass joins and puts it in time. Then Guitarist interrupts it all with a glorious melody that bring it all together. And finally to top it off the Singer comes in and soars over the entire band. The tension increases more and more as the band crescendos slowly but surely. I climb up the stairs of the bus and take an open seat in the back by myself and stare out the window as bus takes off.

The Band plays on and im only the one that hears their beautiful music.. Its as if the Singer sings just for me and the other Band member are playing for me and only me.
Well dont i feel special.
The Gradual Crescendo increases more and more as the bus pulls me around town and toward its final destination. Theres honestly something fascinating about listening to music and staring out a window of a bus.. Especially when the sun shines down on you and reflects off the snow on the ground and creates this eerie feeling of calmness and awe..The kind of moment where you wouldnt mind just sitting and staring.. not doing anything just observing the beauty of your sorroundings.

The bus finally reaches its destination and stalls until the other buses come and release their kids to go to their respective buses to go home. I sit and wait for the bus driver to open the doors and set me free. All of the kids i call my friends sit in front me and talk to one another, everyone having their own side conversation. Yet i still alone in the back, by myself. Why is this I wonder to myself.. am i so different.. do i not belong.. why.. Ive always thought i was somehow different since i was a young child..like as if god had designed me to not fit in right.. to be an outsider.. a nonconformist..

A Nonconformist. Thats honesty what i strive for in life sometimes. To not be the adverage person. To not conform to your 'adverage person'. Because honestly where do u meet a man who plays guitar but doesnt play any of that rock stuff anymore, but plays the blues and jazz. Or a man who plays hockey and is not arrogant in any way at all, but is as humble as a man could possibly be.. does that seem adverage to you, cuz it doesnt really to me.

All these thoughts cross my mind in about the minute or two that the buses take to all file in and then the doors fly open and thousand of children run out and towards their new buses to secure a good seat or to chat with another person before they board their bus. We slowly file out of the bus one by one in a single line.. My music keeps playing and reaches a sort of climax point, Where Singer repeats a single brilliant phrase over and over that blends oh so beautifully with the rest of the band, who at the moment are playing with all passion and soul and power that is possible. The Singer is even backed up by the band each member taking a pitch and forming a beautiful chord for the backgrounds and to support the Lead Singer as he Soars above everything and the band hits one last chord as i step out of the bus and into the world where the sun shines so bright and the sky is limitless and filled with few clouds and there seems to be a soft breeze, not enough to make you cold but just enough to blow your hair back.
And the world is beautiful.
It is a creation of god.
How amazing is he to create all of this.
And ive only thought in my mind.

What a wonderful world.

Stop and Stare

This may or may not have anything to do with the song that i stole the words from. But mainly it has nothing to do with it at all.. just thought itd sound good. That and I just found those words compelling. Its as simple as that. Stop and Stare. Slow it all down.. take time with things.. admire the beautiful the gracious Lord has put in our wondrous world. Lately I've been doing more walking rather than driving around.. It has made a tremendous difference in my life.. Just simply taking the time to walk to wherever i may be going. I know it takes more time, but think of all the good you are doing. For one you're the gas that would be required to move the car which in turn helps the environment. Two it may just be me but i get a feeling of calm as i walk.. The feeling that everything seems right in the world as you slowly walk towards your destination and take in the beauty and sounds of everything that was put on this Earth by our gracious God.

Forgive me for straying from the topic but i feel the necessity for some form of disclaimer here.. because im not a man to throw religion on anybody.. I dont believe that its my place to force my beliefs on anyone else. Sure im supposed to spread the word, but i try to live my life as an example of my beliefs in hopes that others will see it and perhaps ask about it.. and if not then i'll let them hold to their own beliefs and values. So if i talk of my religion dont feel if im saying that im right and ur wrong.. its not my intention at all just that my religion plays a major role in everything i do.. So just for a discalmer dont feel that im some sort of one-viewed im right ur wrong kind of person.. but merely a man with his own beliefs who isnt judgemental of others.

Anyways back to the main topic.."Stop and Stare". is the title of this.. and it simply means to stop and stare. Stop rushing ur life so much.. Stop all the chaos of ur everyday life..Stop all the constant worrying..Stop all of these things and just stare. Stare at the beautiful things in this world.. Take it all in while you can.. Appreciate the ones you love..Tell them how u feel..Dont leave these kind of things to chance..Because tomorrow is never certain.. So love like u never loved before.

Cuz thats the answer to everything isnt it?
Love.
So simple yet so amazingly complex.
A million different people think they know what it is
and yet its different for everyone.
how do u put a definition to that?
I honestly think Love shouldnt be in the dictionary
because no definition anyone could come up with
can ever truly grasp what Love is.

Love is Amazing.
Beautiful.
Indescriable.
Astounding.

A billion words could describe it
yet would not capture its true essence.

I personally have my own ideas as to what it is..
they may be correct for me
but not for you..

Only one thing is certain..

Love Wins.