You're so Blind.

She sits on her perch.
High above the rest of us, she watches me like a hawk.
Preying on my "bad" deeds.
She rests up there for long periods of time, never bothers me one bit, till a moment in time where she flies down and tears away at me.
At my life.

She fills my heart with grief.
Her voice leaves such a bitter taste in my mouth, she is foul to say the least.
Her tongue flaps at me yet again, and again she flies back to her perch to rest.

The days linger on. As if nothing is amiss or that nothing has happened. Yet, still I lay on the ground, bleeding internally, dieing. I am broken. She sees nothing, no perspective from anything else but herself. Oh how can you not see? Are you that blind? Do you not see me? Do you not see my broken body, lying in shambles there? Are you that blind?

I want to yell, I want to scream. Do the wrong that you've done to me back to you, but i don't. I sit, endure the pain, hide the invisible scars that you leave. Oh, you are so blind, and oh so foolish.

Life will go on, and the cycle will continue. This wretched, horrid cycle of pain, and misery. No one will notice, life will go on. And everything will appear to be fine. As if nothing has happened at all. They're all so blind.

Try.

Life is difficult, right?
I mean not one single person goes through life without difficulty.
We all face problems in life, in which we must make a decision.
Whether we overcome the 'obstacle' or give up.
This decision is absolute. In every single thing.

The only real difference remains to be the size of the 'obstacle'.
Some of us will have large obstacles to overcome.
Others will have minor obstacles that challenge them.
No matter the size we still must make a decision.
A decision that could impact the lives of several others or even ourselves.
These decision can have lasting impacts.
they can ruin friendships,
tear down marriages,
destroy families,
end lives,
but also create friendships,
start up marriages,
make families,
and bring life into the world.


How incredible is it that we are given the chance to do what we want with our lives?
I mean seriously.
So many people will look so far beyond that and they dont even see all of the good we have in our lives!
We get to live,
free.
and do with our lives what we will
sure there are rules that our government expects us to follow.
but really that hardly matters when god just gave us this world,
and then we are given the chance to make of it what we will.
How Incredible is that?!
I mean god,
thank you.
haha.

What else can i say?
He gave us this Beautiful world.
With endless beauty,
endless art, endless amazement.
A gift.
To do with what we choose.
And what did he ask of us in return?
Nothing.
Half of his people have turned away from him too.
They've taken a different path,
but he still loves them.
this is the kind of philosophy i try to go with,
love everyone.
no matter who they are.
Even if those people are different from me.
Love them.
But what does this take?
Effort.
Lots of effort.
Most people generally dont want to put in that kind of effort.
Which stems into things like racism, stereotypes, ect.
I mean think of how the world would be different if these things didnt exist.
My main thought goes to music.
How many more African American musicians would have the ability to play the music like jazz back then when they were discriminated against so badly.
But at the same time the all of it has shaped them and made them who they were and how they played.
So times the bad things still can have good results.
but too get the good results it takes,
effort.
Everything comes back to it.
I mean itd be easy to sit there and say i cant do this because of this, this, and this.
But the truly great people rise above all that.
They put in effort when no one else does.
And that is what really makes them great.
They Try,
Try.


Thats what it all comes down to isnt it?
There are those of us that Try,
and those of us who dont.
That pretty much separates who succeeds in life.
Minus the few of us that are given things so easily.
They get it easy.
but dont come out of it with the experiences.
So really the ones who tried and came out with almost the same results got it better.
Its just the way life works out.
Those who really try have good things happen to them.
Its what does and should happen.
Thus i encourage everyone to Try.
If you have a goal that want to meet,
Try, put in the effort and meet it.
If something just isnt working out the way it should,
Try, put in the effort and fix it.

Try, Try, Try.
Thats what it all comes down.

So I'm gonna try (try)
I'm gonna try (try)
Gonna try to be myself
Although myself will wonder why
I'm gonna try (try)
I'm gonna try (try)
Gonna try to be myself this time.
-Try, John Mayer Trio.

I belong.. sort of.

Theres times lately in my life where I question my own existence.
Like what am i here for, where do i belong.
why on earth did God put me in this place.
Part of me has concluded that i wasnt put here to be a very socialable person.
that part of me feels that i dont "belong" with like society almost.
that part of me feels that i belong on a stage with nothing more than a guitar, and a mic.
Standing there confessing all of my feelings, insecurities, desires, and wants.
Revealing to everyone in front of me the deepest corners of my mind and soul.
Sharing with them my stories of who i am, who i was, who im going to be, and who ive become.
Maybe Someday this will come true and all of this will happen.
and ill be up there and every single person will know the words to the song.
they'll all sing along.
And ill watch in amazement as all of this takes place.
People singing along to words i wrote.. words that have deep meaning to me.
Such a beautiful dream.
I do hope that God wills this to come true.


Everyone feels the need to belong in this world.
Whether its with one person, with a group of friends, or even with some sort of club.
We all feel the need to exist with something else.
But why is it so necessary that we must live our lives with others?
can we not be mere loners and live independently?
I believe that we cannot.
I believe that we are meant to live our lives through others and in all things worship God.
It is good to be somewhat independent. But not entirely.
We need others.
We need help.
We need them to help us.
Through problems.
Through pain.
Through life.

Where would we be without others?
I mean honestly. How long can people last on their own.
If everyone lived life independently than the human race wouldn't exist today.
We would all live our lives alone.. and eventually die with nothing.
No family.
No loved ones.
No kids.
Nothing.
And everyone around us would follow suit..
and eventually we would all be gone.
Every single person.
Gone.

So think about what you're doing when you try to do everything yourself.
And maybe realize that you cant do it alone.
'Sometimes I cant make it alone'
so true.
Sometimes we can't make it alone.
We NEED others.
So much.
For everything that they do for us.
Keep them close.
Dont let them leave.
Let everyone co-depend on each other.
and live your life with Love.
Love for one another.
Love for self.
Love for God.

Feels Like Rain

Lately Ive begun to enjoy sitting in the shower.
Just sitting down and letting the water rain down on me.
Because thats what showers are like arent they?
Like a rainstorm that pours all over you.
It covers your entire body and washes away the smells and stains from the previous day.
but more than that..
showering is renewal.
Its out with the person of yesterday and in with the person of today.
You get in, start up the water, and wash away the past and prepare yourself for the future.

Its such a refreshing thing to just let water fall down on you and not care about anything at all and just be at total peace with the world.
This probably the least manly thing i can admit but honestly when im there.. just sitting and letting water rain down on me and sometimes i honestly just cry.
its such a perfect moment.
There are No worries.
No pain.
No remorse.
No sorrow.
Just a man at peace with the world as God's almighty Grace falls upon him in the form of water.
How can get any better than that.
The whole situation gets even more perfect when im running some Buckley song through my speakers.. preferably Hallelujah.
Not to loud though. Just keep him down so hes a silent whisper in the rain.


In my mind there is no more of a perfect situation than of the one i just described.
How can u get any better than that?
You're in a place where nothing else matters.
Its just you and the rain.
The constant rain we all have in our lives.
No matter what you do or where you go.
There will always be rain.
Beautiful and Comforting Rain.
That i encourage you to take time to just sit in the rain..
and just be at peace with everything and everyone.